I don't want another girl's body. I want my body, but leaner, stronger, and healthier.
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Today I woke up determined to take life in my hands and GO. I woke up with a fresh perspective and I realize what I need to do to make myself happy. I woke up with DESIRE for the first time in months. I woke up with PASSION and a the burning fire of creativity inside of me again. I woke up wanting to stay home and create….art, business, whatever it may be…I want to create it.
So tonight, I conquer. I conquer my painting, I conquer my workout, I conquer taking advantage of every second I am given. I woke up with determination, and I will not go to bed until I am satisfied.
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Beauty.
When I reflect upon God’s nature and consider his qualities, I am left with only one word. God is beautiful. I use this word not in relation to any physical qualities, but in relation to his unending complexity and simplicity. He is the creator who is beyond comprehension, yet he enters into history with the simple request that we love him and our fellow humans. He is surprising, powerful, elegant, harmonious, and other words that only elaborate upon the term beauty. Condensing the definition of beauty, as people so often do, detracts from the realization that God truly is beautiful. How else can one explain how so much beauty abounds in the world he created? Whether in sights from creation, words with a friend, artwork at its finest, music at it richest, mathematics in its thoroughness, love in its purest, sacrifice in its earnestness, or any other beauty one finds in the world, one has a reason to turn to the source of this beauty.
I have contemplated this concept the past few weeks and I still have difficulty understanding beauty. I see a world marred by sin, yet I see God’s grace and love bursting through the darkness. I realize that God is beautiful, but I have difficulty using this term because this word has been altered and corrupted by societies and individuals (including myself). I am conflicted at times; however, I know that God is beautiful and will continue to reveal his nature to me. God is beautiful and let all the earth sing his praises.
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Today.
Well it wasn’t a bad day, per se.
Just a ‘meh’ type of day.
I woke up late (surprise surprise)
Missed my train.
And then the later train was really (really!) late (of course it was)
Work was slow. Soooooooooooo slow.
(The forklift business isn’t like it used to be you guys)
Which means time ticked back, before it went forwards.
And there were these mini Crunchie bars calling my name all day.
Rude, I know.
I’m pretty sure I hit ‘refresh’ on my email 3.2 million times before lunch.
Took two advils for my headache (which holy hell better not be a migraine).
Then I convinced myself I was sick.
So sick.
Dizzy.
Yes, dizzy.
And tired.
And wait, is that a fever I feel coming on?
(ohmagawd how is it not 5pm yet?)
I walked to my train
slowly.
Sat in my chair
lazily.
And dreamed of switching Crossfit for my bed.
Oh my glorious, glorious, warm bed.
And a laptop equipped with two new Girls episodes.
But.
And this is a good but.
For whatever reason I missed my house train stop.
And continued onto my crossfit train stop.
Huh.
How about that?
I shuffled down the street, up the stairs, and into the arena.
Not a fiber of my being wanted to workout.
Not a fiber of me wanted to be anything but horizontal.
But then the clock counted down.
3,
2,
1.
And suddenly I was lunging, and box jumping and jerk-lifting a bar of 25kg.
A total of eight rounds too.
And then I felt good.
So good.
Like colour me hot pink good.
And so I headed to the grocery store.
Bought me a big old, steak for dinner.
Showered.
Cleaned.
And am now sitting on my guilt free buttocks, feet up, remote in hand and feeling happy.
Turns out I wasn’t sick
Or tired,
Or had a bug coming on.
Nope.
Turns out I was just being lazy and creating excuses for myself to skip my workout.Loading...
